Thank you for teaching me about the soul.

 　　Thank you for letting me understand the thrill of a heartbeat. This is the fifth article in a series. I'm so grateful to you for letting me understand the feeling of longing for someone alone. My heart fluttered when I first saw you. When you weren't there, I felt lost, missed you, thinking of your words, your smile, your figure, your hairstyle. I wonder if you've ever had a similar experience.

　　That was a flutter of the heart, hazy and indistinct. We took a single word, a smile, a chance encounter with him, and turned it into our own story, a deep-seated yearning for him. We would feel heartache, loss. You taught me about the thrill of a heartbeat, about the feeling of liking someone. Secretly watching you, you noticed, and I, innocent and shy, thought you also secretly loved me. My heart fluttered.

　　In class, unintentionally not paying attention, I saw your profile, and my heart started pounding. This was my own yearning for him, both guilty and thrilled. My heart fluttered. The day I confessed my feelings to you, I smiled as I thought about you. I've had a crush on you for so long, and you didn't even know it. My heart ached terribly. I was afraid—afraid I wouldn't be able to forget you, afraid I wouldn't be able to move on, afraid I'd have a mental breakdown. But these childish thoughts and "worries" wouldn't make me laugh. A normal person feels heartache. A racing heart plus heartache equals suffering.

　　It's been calm, slow, but I still haven't fully gotten used to it. The taste of pain is something only those who have truly endured emotional hardship can understand. One person must offer warmth to another whose heart is wounded and vulnerable. A heart can feel the warmth of another's heart; this is something no wounded heart can ever truly understand. A person's loss, accompanied by heartache, is tinged with worry. When you told me you had left, I hadn't anticipated the buried sense of loss, the racing heart, and the subsequent pain in my wounded soul.

　　It's truly torturous. Having experienced so much, I can only say, "Thank you for teaching me so much." My heart... Why the pain, the fluttering heart, the lost heart? Because we are normal people; we are flesh and blood. Sometimes I wish you could see what I've written and understand my feelings. It's just a pity that I so want to go find you. When I think of someone, I desperately want to see them, to go find you. Actually, your heartache doesn't stem from this thought, but from my own lack of inner maturity and composure.

　　Therefore, we can only truly understand by experiencing each and every heartache deeply. Those who have endured pain and hardship should be strong and optimistic. Heartache can be seen as an illness, a part of one's own soul. It can also be an addiction, a nagging, lonely longing. We must face these things, remain calm, treat them kindly, and do our own thing well. It may prevent you from being calm, but that's just time. Calm down, analyze, write in a diary, confide in someone.

　　Slowly, don't force it, but don't be careless either, because before the pain, you can't be careless; you'll only think about it more. But afterwards, let it go. Slowly, focus on your work and studies. In your free time, read, write, and enjoy articles. Calm your mind. Let the things that enter your heart be serene, always beautiful, memories, and recollections. Once you understand, you'll understand. You'll know how to act. Cherish every day. Be happy.

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