Ten lessons that Dream of the Red Chamber teaches women

 　　A single book, *Dream of the Red Chamber*, encapsulates a thousand sorrows of young women.

　　The countless women in the book, though their fates differ, are all vividly portrayed.

　　Their stories, while evoking sighs, allow us to savor the bittersweetness of life.

　　Understanding these lessons is enough to benefit us for a lifetime.

　　Xue Baochai: Talent is a Woman's Greatest Confidence.

　　Baochai is a woman of great social graces. Some praise her for her understanding and interpersonal skills, while others criticize her for being hypocritical and worldly. But regardless of your opinion, you must admit she is an exceptionally talented woman.

　　At every poetry club gathering, her poems always win thunderous applause; when Xichun paints, she can readily provide a long list of materials; when Tanchun manages the household, her concise guidance effectively addresses both advantages and disadvantages. She is like an encyclopedia, earning the admiration of others.

　　In life, no matter how well you perform, there will always be those who dislike you. At such times, what you need most is not to please others, but to cultivate yourself.

　　If you possess genuine talent and learning, others will naturally respect you. If you possess profound wisdom and insight, why fear the opinions of others?

　　Jia Tanchun: Birth Cannot Determine Fate .

　　People say Tanchun is a "golden phoenix flying out of a crow's nest." Her birth mother, Aunt Zhao, was of lowly status and morally corrupt, yet Tanchun blossomed into a beautiful and elegant woman with an extraordinary bearing.

　　Logically, a daughter born out of wedlock should be as timid and submissive as Yingchun, but Tanchun knew how to strive for advancement, choose good friends, and cultivate exceptional insight and ability, becoming the most dazzling among the young ladies of the Jia family.

　　Some people often complain that their parents are incompetent and haven't created better conditions for them. However, the limitations of parents are not a reason for us to give up.

　　Birth can only determine your starting point, not your destination. Only you can determine your own destiny.

　　Wang Xifeng: Overly Dominant Marriages Don't Last

　　. In terms of household management, Wang Xifeng was first-rate; in terms of interpersonal relationships, she was adept at navigating social situations; but in terms of a happy marriage, Wang Xifeng was a complete failure.

　　She seemed to have the upper hand at home, not only controlling the money tightly but also suppressing Jia Lian at every turn. However, this only pushed Jia Lian further away, and she was ultimately divorced.

　　Marriage is about two people working together, heart to heart, not one leading and the other obeying. Marriage needs not shrewdness and authority, but understanding and respect. Unconditional dominance not only hurts the other person but also accelerates the breakdown of the marriage.

　　Li Wan: Knowing How to Live for Oneself.

　　Li Wan was a typical virtuous wife and loving mother, living her entire life for others. After marriage, she served her husband and in-laws. After her husband's untimely death, she devoted herself entirely to educating her son.

　　Although her son was successful and achieved academic success, Li Wan was already exhausted and nearing her death.

　　Li Wan is an epitome of countless traditional mothers who only know how to selflessly dedicate themselves, not how to cherish themselves. Their lives are admirable, but also tragic.

　　Women must know how to live for themselves, to live a fulfilling life, to make their lives worthwhile.

　　Shi Xiangyun: Even in the hardest times, maintain optimism.

　　Orphaned at a young age and facing the decline of her family, Xiangyun, though nominally a young lady, actually had to work alongside the maids, leading a difficult life.

　　Yet, she always appeared with a smile, bringing joy wherever she went. From the matriarch of the Jia family to the maids, everyone liked her.

　　Everyone has their own untold hardships; instead of weeping and becoming annoying, it's better to face life with a smile and live each day to the fullest. Those who smile often have good fortune.

　　Jia Yuanchun: A good marriage doesn't guarantee a good life

　　. Among the Twelve Beauties of Jinling, Yuanchun perhaps married the best. She was chosen as a virtuous concubine, serving the emperor and enjoying endless wealth and luxury, bringing considerable honor to the entire Jia family.

　　However, Yuanchun was not happy. During her visit home, she cried, saying the palace was a shameful place, and ultimately died mysteriously there.

　　Marrying into a wealthy family is many women's dream, but it doesn't guarantee lifelong happiness. Whether shoes fit or not, only the wearer knows; whether a marriage is right or not, only you know.

　　Marrying for money or power is not as good as marrying for happiness.

　　Jia Yingchun: Your kindness needs a sharp edge.

　　Yingchun, nicknamed "Second Wooden Head," was kind-hearted and never competed.

　　However, her kindness didn't bring her good fortune. Not only did her maids and servants disregard her, but after marriage, her husband beat and verbally abused her, leading to her untimely death at a young age.

　　People need kindness, but kindness taken to extremes is weakness. Unconditional kindness only emboldens bad people.

　　Unreasonable behavior must be clearly opposed; learn to refuse. Your kindness needs a sharp edge.

　　Granny Liu: Sometimes, being muddleheaded is a blessing .

　　Granny Liu, originally a country woman, knowingly teased Yuanyang and Wang Xifeng while visiting the Grand View Garden. Instead of getting angry, she cooperated in a play, making everyone in the Jia household laugh heartily.

　　Granny Liu, seemingly muddle-headed, won everyone's affection and even received a generous donation from the Jia family upon her departure. The saying "

　　it's good to be muddle-headed" actually means not taking things too seriously or being biased. When encountering harmless trifles, one can simply laugh it off. Without a broad mind, where would peace and tranquility come from?

　　Grandmother Jia: An elegant woman, unafraid of aging

　　. How can a woman age gracefully? Just look at Grandmother Jia.

　　She possessed exceptional talent for managing the household, yet she kept it hidden, entrusting the reins to her descendants while she focused on enjoying life with her children and grandchildren. She had refined artistic taste; whether listening to opera, sipping tea, admiring the moon, or appreciating scenery, she could always succinctly capture the essence of the matter, leaving everyone in awe.

　　Grandmother Jia was elegant throughout her life, knowing when to let go and never easily losing her temper; everyone in the Jia family loved and respected her.

　　Every woman will age; beauty, health, and wealth will be taken away by time, but only elegance endures. Instead of worrying about aging, cultivate an elegant demeanor.

　　Lin Daiyu: A Sincere Heart is Most Precious

　　The world is not lacking in beautiful women, nor in talented women, but it lacks women like Daiyu who are truly genuine. She treats people with sincerity and deep affection; once she considers someone a confidant, she is willing to give her whole heart.

　　Some say Daiyu is mean-spirited, petty, and naive. But when Daiyu first entered the Jia family mansion, facing a large group of unfamiliar relatives, she managed to behave appropriately and never be impolite, which is enough to show that she understands the ways of the world, but simply chooses not to use them.

　　The most difficult thing in life is not being worldly-wise, but knowing the ways of the world without being worldly. Daiyu showed her true nature and loved people with her heart, which is why she won Baoyu's unwavering love until death.

　　At first, we are always infatuated with other people's appearance, talent, and wealth, but when the glamour fades, you will find that only a sincere heart is most precious.

　　The women of the Red Chamber are distant, like beauties in a painting.

　　The women of the Red Chamber are also close, like friends beside you.

　　From them, you can see your own reflection and also understand the true meaning of life.

　　Life is like a dream; cherish it. From this moment on, strive to be a better version of yourself.

　　...

　　(The End)